My dads an alcoholic

My dads been an alcoholic since before I was born, and he still is.

He is the high functioning type.  Always awake at 8 AM no matter how blacked out he got.  Always dresses up and shows up.

But our whole lives as kids were filled with pain, anger and embarrassment from his drinking.  Even as adults it is still the same.

He gets very angry when he is drinking and it is the only time that he can be confrontational or outgoing.  So then he goes on rampages and tells us all the things he never has the balls to when hes sober.  Its so annoying.

This past weekend at the lake, he got into a fight with one of my older brothers, when he was hammered.

He likes to tell everyone how big of a piece of shit they are, how they are good at nothing, etc., etc., and my one brother just doesn’t take it anymore.  My dad of course tries to get physical with him, so my brother pushes my dad in the kitchen a couple times and he goes flying.  Then on the whole way home my dad is screaming in the car and my brother has to stop and let him out and threaten to leave him.

There was a bunch of drama when they got home at 1 AM, my poor mom.  Thank god I dont live there anymore.

This is exactly why I dont drink.  I turn into my dad when I drink.  I hate my dads drinking.  I hate my dads alcoholism.  I hate that it has given me such bad anxiety.  You just never know what dads going to do, and hes always drinking.  Its usually a huge blow up.  I think it is safe to say I need to stay away from the lake this summer as much as possible.

My dad has never once acknowledged he is an alcoholic, he freaks if you call him one.  He has never said sorry.  Not sure if it is because he actually doesnt remember, or because hes not sorry.  he doesnt see a problem with himself, its everyone else that is the problem.

They say who you surround yourself with is who you become.  Well, I have done a pretty good job of minimizing toxic friends, so I think the same needs to apply to family.

I am finally tired of him.

2 thoughts on “My dads an alcoholic

  1. I had to let go of some family and friends in order to get and stay sober. Almost 6 years later, I don’t regret the decision one bit. They are still spinning wheels in the same spot after all these years.

    It’s ok to do that (choose to walk away from anyone or anything that doesn’t resonate with your spirit) and don’t let anyone tell you any different!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s