Want a drink (or should I say to get drunk)

Having family stress.  Always in the middle of my parents latest drama.  Has been going for my entire childhood.

Its the May Long weekend.  Suns shining.

Supposed to be going to the lake…. around drinkers.

Or supposed to go to a friends birthday party…..  around drinkers.

Want to do both and just say fuck it- im young- its summer – lets have fun and let loose!

Also dont want to start from the bottom again.  Will i always want to drink?  Will I always feel left out?  Will  I always want to get out of my head and obliterate myself?!

I am feeling emotionally week.

I think its best I dont go to either one….. feeling sad.  Wondering why me?

Must try to remember that I am CHOOSING not to drink.  I easily could.  Theres wine in the back of the shop.

I am CHOOSING to stay sober.

To stay healthy.

To not worsen the anxiety and depression.

To not dehydrate myself and ruin my looks.

To not embarrass myself

Because I dont just want to have a couple drinks.  I want to get drunk.  Thats why I dont drink.

5 thoughts on “Want a drink (or should I say to get drunk)

  1. So very sorry you are going through this and have been put in this situation. I know exactly what you are feeling, but I can offer no advice as I have failed in this scenario more than I have succeeded. The fact that you recognize it, and acknowledge it, means YOU are winning right now. Sending up prayers for you, many do not understand the struggle 😦

    Like

  2. You are making the right choices.. you can indeed not go. It sounds to me like your sobriety is more important to you than your desire to drink. And no, it won’t always feel like missing out!-it gets easier. Xxx

    Like

    • It truly for once in my life, is more important than anything else. I am choosing how to live my life for the first time in a long time- glad to hear it doesnt always feel like missing out!! I got through the weekend sober 🙂 🙂 Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well done you! This time of year is a challenge for FOMO. I don’t really miss drinking any more, but I have had an inkling of nostalgia for sunshine drinks. Not worth it though. So much more energy and self worth to enjoy in the sunshine when sober xx

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s