Day 10- and a new name

I woke up this morning feeling so grateful.  My heart is so full.  I couldn’t have asked for anything more yesterday.  I am finally Mrs. S!  But it really wont feel like it until my wedding in Mexico next month.  I cant believe how fast that went, now I know I really have to be present on my wedding day, its over in a flash!!

I was feeling nervous before everyone came, because my usual habit would have been to have had a couple drinks first, and I for sure would have wanted to turn it into more of a party than it was.  Garrett and I both didn’t know what to do, we forgot to hold hands, we were almost laughing and making hilarious eye contact.  But it was so cute, and we said our vows to each other and it all went so perfectly.  I honestly have the best man imaginable.  I am so blessed! We then went to Browns for supper and I ordered Won Ton soup.  I really enjoyed just being present, and having a good conversation over food with my family.   No one drank at all.  Am I the only person that wanted to turn every event into a drinking event?

My grandma gave me a beautiful card with the nicest message inside.  It is a keepsake I will cherish forever.  I am so glad that she got to be there, it really was a lot more special than I had imagined it would be, and I could tell she was so glad.  G was so cute last night, so happy to be married, so giddy, it was adorable.

I am so glad I didn’t drink.  Even if I was shy during the ceremony, I was being myself.  I made memories that I will actually remember.  I persevered even though every thought was telling me the opposite.  G recommended I do a 5 min meditation when I was kind of in panic mode before they came and it actually did help.  Must remember this in next stressful social situation!  I have always known this, but it becomes ever so apparent again that most of my heavy drinking stems from having social anxiety.  I know its all in my head.  As most people tell me I am the last person in the world they would say seemed nervous or anxious.  Its because I am actually quite outgoing.  So I am not sure where this stems from.  Every time I push through it, it confirms that my fears were there for no good reason.  Must get to the bottom of this.

First sober wedding event down- 3 to go!

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