I binge drank yesterday

Well.  I made it to two weeks and was doing so well.  I was feeling happy, proud, and my relationship with G was improving.  He was happy and proud of me too.

I had gotten back into mediation and yoga, and started tracking habits.  All of that falls by the way side when I drink.  I drank a whole bottle of wine and 2 tall boys 7%.

I am not sure if G knew I was drinking, but I think he did.  I know God wants me to be sober. I feel a high connection with God when I am sober.

Yesterday, I also drove.  As soon as I get alcohol in my body, I think that I can do anything, with no consequences.  It is absolutely maddening.  I am so mad at myself.

I do realize, that I have to ride things out, when I am having wolfie in my head, I have to just not drink that day, and it will be better.  I also smoked pot the last 2 days, after 40 days clean.  I am back to day 1 for both.

I am learning that even if I had a flat depressing weekend, that will pass, I cant give in to the moment of feeling shitty.

I am not giving up- I WILL BEAT THIS!!!

2 thoughts on “I binge drank yesterday

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