Day 18- Hard Past Week

I have been having a hard past week.  I definitely did switch to the booze to get rid of ugly feelings I was having over the weekend and about my Social Anxiety.  But I shut that off quick and haven’t had a drink in 5 days.  I have been researching a lot about how weed and alcohol truly allow demonic beings to enter your system, and destroy you.

You open your mind up to terrible things.  Its kinda keeping me going, and scaring me from alcohol a lot at this point.  You know the point of black out when you wake up and people tell you, you were acting like a completely different person and your spiritual, emotional and physical body takes a huge hit… I call that demonic possession.  And they don’t leave you alone, that’s what creates addicts, they keep you calling back for more, tempting you, calling you do all sorts of things when they have control.  Drinking and driving, low level sex, violence, hatred those are all things of the devil, and not God.

I know it sounds crazy, but look up alcohol and demons or spirituality on YouTube there is some pretty crazy shit, and hey its working.

I have been an emotional mess, mean to the FI, having freak outs, being irrational and then normal a minute later.  I am trying to not be so hard on myself as I know this is what is going to happen.  I haven’t dealt with my emotions since I was 13 like for real.  I always drank or smoked them away.  I think my brain is re wiring.

The first couple of weeks I was so exhausted it was weird, not like any quit I have had before. Now though, almost 3 weeks in, I cant sleep at night and I am tossing and turning, and having crazy dreams still, but those are kinda cool.  I do have a lot more energy and recently started a new gym program so that will keep me busy.

So far this past week I have had sever migraines, bad mood swings, trouble sleeping and feeling pretty angry.  No anxiety though, which is weird for me.  Oh, and I naturally stopped drinking as much coffee, not sure why??

Heres to 3 weeks, the farthest I will have ever gone!

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