Sober changes

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Hi lovelies.

I haven’t been blogging much- but I have been working my sobriety!  So much has changed for me this past 4 months.  I am annoying the shit out of my boyfriend because my mind just can not grasp the fact that I have changed this much.  ME?  The party animal, shot taking, weed smoking, don’t give a f*** person I used to be.  ME!!

I keep saying “Can you believe this… or, “Before I quit drinking, NEVER would I go into the office to prep for the week Sunday, have all my house work done, relaxing, doing yoga.” I just can not believe this is ME!!  I am doing this!!!   The me, who has almost survived (I mean thrived) through an entire summer alcohol free.  But yet, this is ME.  The new ME.  The REAL ME.  Before I drowned myself in Alcohol.  I have come to the realization, that I am addicted to pleasure.  Immediate pleasure.  I never worked on things like Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, journaling, etc because I wanted IMMEDIATE pleasure, and it always got me there faster.

I have also cut back so much on weed.  I am much more aware of my bad habits, and how now with weed too I am numbing myself.  And, I also realize how much I depend on it.  I do not want to depend on anything, I want to be free.  I want to only depend on stuff that is within me, not external pleasures.

I know I have put the intention out into the world to be 100% clean body, mind and soul and I know the universe is conspiring to make it happen.  I am becoming less and less interested in smoking weed, and I have begun my journey of kicking the devils lettuce.  Which I also too will document here.  I know that God wants me to sacrifice something as insignificant as weed for the greater good.   I need to know who I am without any substances.   I know that great things are coming my way.  I just have to get out of the way and let God do his part.

I have also gotten so much into yoga, and the way that it has transformed my life, that I have signed up for my yoga teacher training come February.  I am SOOOOO excited.  NEVER would I have been able to make a decision like this if I was drinking.  I was so indecisive, up and down, yes and no, happy and sad, it makes me sad to think about it now.  It costs 4,000 for the training, but I feel deep inside this is my passion and this is where my next journey lies.

like… can you believe I am doing this!? 😉




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