My anxiety and stress is at an all time high. I just feel like I can’t do anything right!!
I would die to just chug a bottle of wine, forget about these feelings, drown this anxiety.
I am panicking in my chest right now.
I am on the verge of tears.
I have been bickering and fighting with G about household cleaning and stuff, and how I feel nagged on 24/7 that its not up to his standards. I feel like this: I AM ALREADY GOING THROUGH ENOUGH, WE WON’T DIE IF I LEFT A TINY PIECE OF AVOCADO ON THE COUNTER” I actually yelled that at him. And some other mean things. He is the target of my mood swings lately..
Then, yesterday… my dad asked me to move his truck into our shop at work, so I did, but scratched the whole side of his truck against the door frame… Like did I just not pay attention? This shit isn’t like me.
I called G to come look at the damage, and then he tells me he accidentally drove over my expensive favorite pair of sunglasses with the lawn mower. That set me off further.
I am legitimately a fire breathing dragon- beware do not come near.
I got a call today that the surgeons office had a cancellation and that I could finally get all four of my impacted wisdom teeth out. TOMORROW at 2. This is major as two of them are under my jaw bone, but the pain they have been causing me is unbearable. So I accepted, otherwise I have to wait until September 7th and I can’t wait that long!
I am now equally upset, because it is my grandmas 84th birthday this weekend at the lake. She is having a big girls party, which of course I was going to along with a bunch of other friends and family etc. Except now I can’t go. And I missed her big 80th birthday because I just flew off the Montreal on a whim one day, and also missed her birthday last year because I drank way to much and fell asleep as soon as we got there. I know my mom is going to be disappointed because every time there is something going on I am supposed to attend, something comes up, or G plans a surprise trip and I never make it.
This is just all too much. I literally want to cry. And I REALLY want a bottle of red.